I am not feeling well

it's 01.45 am here. and it's already sunday.
I'm not feeling well.
ok maybe yesterday was my worst day. I had enough for the pain, it hurts. I realized that.... I've hurt myself by hurting some people on my past, maybe?

So I was at Soemantri Brodjonegoro Kuningan,attended my school event. and my mood was getting worse, til minus level. It was crowded there but I didn't get any happiness. I was so down!! I felt like dying for some minutes, I thought dying is smooth. I've been thinking about this for hours,

when everything goes wrong, and no one cares, let's cry.

ok finally after a long time, I cried! ha ha ha but that was just 5minutes. haha, funny. I hate this part,realllllyyyyyy.

so by the way I remember what fortune teller told. he asked me to have some bestfriends. ah he just didn't know,the truth is; to find a bestfriend is a difficult thing, for me. I have many good friends but that's a total different with bestfriends.. bestfriends are always there, but good friends aren't. they can leave you, they can backstab you. and after that- what did fortune teller mean? he said I should have a bestfriend and it must be a boy. boy??? hellooo why must a boy?

In the end, what do i really want now is forget all bad things and change it to be good things. and the most important is... I dont wanna fall in love for a moment. I feel regret when I realized I fell in love with a wrong person. so, bye. for good.